Anyway I felt it was time to write one and something that has been on my mind lately is gifts. It's that time of year again. And I LOVE it! I absolutely love giving gifts!! I Love seeing that look on the person I love when they often my gift that I spent hours thinking of and then hunting for it and/or making it. Handmade gifts are my FAVORITE! But that's for another day.
My love of gift giving got my thinking about Gary chapman's book "The Five Love Languages". If you have not read it, Go out and buy it NOW! It is fantastic. My hubby and I baught it when we were first dating and I am so thankful that we did. We have read it together a few times since and have even baught it on tape one time when we had to drive up to NorCal (aaag 8+ hours in the car) and wanted something to listen to. It may seem simple but it has really helped us to understand one another.
Before saying any more let me explain the five languages if you havn't read his book:
1. Words of Affirmation: Speaking kind words such as "Honey dinner was great tonight! Thank you" or "Wow! You look stunning!"
2. Quality Time: Spending time together! But that doesn't mean sitting side by side on the couch watching tv. Quality time it time spent with your undivided attention focused on eachother.
3. Gifts: Spending the time to give gifts that are personal and that the person will really love. People who have gifts as their language love recieving them but not for a materialistic benefit but because it shows their spouse (or friends/family) really love them and will take the time to find the perfect gift for them.
4. Acts of Service: Acts of Service doesn't mean the things that are expected to be done. For example taking out the trash is my hubby's job. But when your spouse does something above and beyond or unexpected. Such as suprising you when you come home by having the dishes all done and the house vacummed.
5. Physcial Touch: This one doesn't mean the rated R type of physcial touch. But a loving stroke on the arm, holding hands, or a quick peck on the cheek. People with phycial touch need that affirming touch of their spouse to feel their love.
So where do you fit in? My number one is gifts as I have already stated. I love givin gifts but I also love recieving them! I love knowing that my hubby is thinking of me and takes time out of his very busy day to pick up something for special to me. It's not about how much money he spends but about thinking of me. Jason get's to work before I am even awake in the morning and this morning he left me a note in the kitchen. These are the kinds of things I love, just knowing he's thinking of me.
Jason's love languages are quality time and physical touch. My hubby is very weird (but also cute hehe) in that he LOVES to watch movie trailers and look up movie trivia. Which is fine, that's his hobby. He could spend hours looking this stuff up. And he LOVES sharing it with me, his family, his friends, whoever he can. He loves that quality time spent sharing it with those he loves. He feels connected by sharing. And his other love language is phycial touch. Usually the women in relationships are the cuddelers, but in our case it's him! haha don't get me wrong, I love to cuddle but not nearly as much as he does. He is sooo sweet.
Not only do understanding our love languages help us to understand each other they help us to understand the other special people in our life. For instance, my mom's love language is words of affirmation (as this is the case with many women). You can buy her all the stuff you want but when she really feels love is when you thank her for the wonderful dinner or tell her how great she made the new bathroom look. Everyone is different but it's wonerful to start noticing how different people are. You can really make someone feel loved by taking a few minutes to find out what makes them tick and then to speak their love language to them.
What's your love language?
"Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband." Ephesians 5:33
"Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity." Colossians 3:14
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her" Ephesians 5:25
"But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love" 1 Corinthians 13:13