Intentionally Living...My life as a godly Wife

So my word for the 2010 year is Intentional. I began the year by thinking hard about what word would define my year. And no other word would do but Intentional.

 I am a new wife working hard to figure out what exactly that means. My hubby and I are graduating college soon and will be starting a new phase of life. So in all of that I am going to be Intentional about My faith, My love, and My life.

But I'm not going to repeat my whole post about being intentional you can read that HERE. But as the months get away from the new year I forget more and more what it means to be intentional about my life. So I have decided to do a new series on what it means to be to live intentionally and my trials and errors in that. Try not to get too excited ;)

I currently have 12 things in my post that I am going to be Intentional about. I may be adding to this list throughout the year but for now it's 12.

So my first statement for this year is...
I am going to be intentional about being the wife that God has called me to be.

So often in our culture being a wife is not something that people feel they need to work at. But being a wife is incredibly important!! And becoming the wife that God has called us to should be something we are always working at.

But what kind of wife is God calling us to? Of course the first place to look is Scripture :D

So what are we as wives created for?
Genesis 2:18 says, "Then the LORD God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." (NASB)

So what does this really mean? One of my absolute favorite books of all time is The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace. I would recommend this book to ANY and EVERY wife! Or engaged or single woman!! Every woman should read this book!!! (And your husbands should read it's counterpart The Exemplary Husband).

Anyway in her book Martha Peace explains this passage as follows. She say, "God created  a wife for Adam who was to be his helper suitable. if you are a wife, He has also determined your primary ministry  and role in life. Yours and every wife's chief end is life is to glorify God, but it is to glorify Him in the manner in which God planned. You are to be  a helper suitable for your husband".

Wow, I know that this is a total counter-cultural statement! (But hey...our Lord and savior was radically counter cultural!!!)
I know that this sounds domineering and many women would cringe as this idea of being a "helper" to her husband. But God wants us to find fulfillment and joy in being submissive (YES, submissive) to our husbands and "helping" him in all things.

Peace points out in her book that "God wants you to be a joyful and fulfilled wife."

Let's take a look at the most famous scriptural reference about being a wife. Proverbs 31 of course! This is a description of "The Excellent Wife"

"She looks for wool and flax and works with her hands in delight...she senses that her gain is good; her lamp does not go out at night...strength and dignity are her clothing and she smiles at the future...her husband praises her saying, "Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all".
Proverbs 31: 13, 18, 25, 28, 29 (emphasis added)

Peace adds to this by saying, "Joy will come to you as you look forward in anticipation to what God has planned for you. A delight from doing your work, a sense of fulfillment that what you are accomplishing is good, and a husband who praises you, are just part of the joy and fulfillment that God would like for you to experience".

Okay enough of her words...she just says it so perfectly!! But when we follow God's design for us we find joy and fulfillment! The excellent wife's husband loves her more than anything. He praises her in front of people for being such a hard worker and so loving to her family. The excellent wife isn't selfish! she wants to see her family succeed in the Lord.

And yes wives we are to be submissive to our husbands. This is NOT a male dominating social idea that society would love for us to believe. This is NOT the schemes of thousands of years worth of dominating men. This IS God's design. And when lived out in God's will it is the best way to live one's life.

Ephesians 5:22-23 states, "Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything."

When this submission is carried out it also comes with the male having some obligations as well!

This passage in Ephesians goes on to say, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her...So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself..." 5:25-30.

The first thing to take away from that is husbands are to genuinely love their wives! They are to put their wives before themselves! Husbands are to give up their life for their wife just as Christ did for all of us! This is not just physically saving your wife from death but in everyday sacrificially giving up things for your wife. Husbands too are called to be selfless.
This street is two ways. Yes, God calls us ladies to submit lovingly to our husbands. But our husbands are also to love and care for us. When God's will is followed in this then the most beautiful marriages emerge. When we marry we become one with our spouse. We are no longer separate but now together, in everything.

Ephesians 5 ends with
"FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH...Each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband." 5:31-33

God created this thing called marriage to be beautiful! God's laws always have fantastic reason's behind them..we just don't always see those reasons.

So for me this year one of my biggest priorities is to love my husband and figure out what this whole thing called being a wife is all about. I am going to be Intentional about following God's standards for me and being a wife. I am going to lovingly submit to by husband and allow him to be the head of our family.

I know this is hard for some people to swallow and I have soo much more to say on this subject but this is all I will say for now. If you want to know more then go pick up Martha Peace's book! You won't regret it!!! Or email me and we can talk more!

Also don't forget that I have a Q & A post that you can ask me any questions. So if after reading this you want to know more about me and my life then leave a question in a comment of that post HERE.


  1. Positively Fantastic, Jamie! And Biblical. I know you will succeed as you trust in the Lord to help you accomplish your goal of being a Godly wife! I'm looking forward to getting to know you better through this.

  2. Thank you Wendy! This means so much coming from you! I'm excited to start sharing my life with everyone more and my what God is calling me to and doing in my life! Thanks for stopping by!!

  3. Awesome post Jami!!!! Keep spreading this awesome truth until the day you die!

    Love ya!

  4. Wow! Amazing post Jami! I was married young as well and have been married for about 2 years now and finally finished college. God has blessed us so much and it is because we did it his way. The greatest words that encouraged and directed us were the ones you have spoken here. You are a great inspiration! All the best through your marriage and God Bless!

  5. Hi Sabrina,
    Thanks for the encouragement! It's always great to meet other young married couples! You don't come by too many of them these days!

    Thanks for stopping by today and for all kind words :D

  6. Jami,
    I just wanted to say that I loved your post. Imagine the lives that you have touched with it...

  7. Thank you so much! That means so much!


Thanks for visiting my blog! If this is your first time here then let me know! I love comments and I always love hearing from my readers. If you would like to contact me via email my email is jamibalmet(at)hotmail(.)com.


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